Twitter Updates 2.2: FeedWitter

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm so, so sorry, Ray. But it's not good for me to be around you guys for the moment. And I'm sorry, Thage for your dresser's sake, but it's the only thing I can think of to keep the door closed.

Ray, the nightmare last night...I realised something. I was looking at a mirror and called myself  "Ardelia Lortz."

Of course I did. The correlations...I feel like Naomi and Ardelia, and I've found my liquorice, Ray. The thing that makes Ardelia scream in utter fucking terror and anger.

I can't talk to you, she hates that, tries to kill you. The only reason I haven't is sheer fucking willpower. But I can type. I can read. I don't know how to get rid of that feeling everytime I look around of someone using my eyes, I don't know how to stop myself from sneering at you, but I know how to shut the voice the fuck up.

I love you. Please, god, don't doubt that.

17 comments:

  1. Wait. . .forget it I don't really want to know.

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  2. Who is this 'Ardelia Lortz' now? Another fallen?

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  3. Someone Reach took out as a Revenant?

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  4. Tony says that, "If you let that retarded.../woman/ take control, he's going to come and kick your /butt/." I apologize in advance for how crude it sounds, but I corrected most of it.

    He also says to remember what's real and what isn't. Try to recall old memories and block the voices out by meditating and...he wants you to drink alcohol, but please don't. That's a horrible suggestion.

    Now as for me, I want you to know if things get too bad we can always find you all again and take you with us if you feel it necessary. Tony would probably disagree with this, but I don't care.

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  5. Oh my. . .God. The Library Policemen is suspiciously like. Nevermind. You guys can google it yourselves.

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  6. Did Google it now. It makes a lot of sense. Any psychiatrists among the lot?

    Alcohol would be a really bad idea now.

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  7. It's amazing how much less I love Stephen King now that I've seen things that could have starred in one of his stories. I'll agree with the alcohol probably not helping right now, but if writing is what helps, then write up a storm. Send emails, spam your twitter, blog fifteen times in one hour. Whatever it takes hon.

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  8. I agree with Kay on this. Do whatever it takes, Ava, because there will a way out.

    --Vivi

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  9. I'm sure it'll get better. Maybe you could try meditation, like Cathy suggested?

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  10. Holy jumping Christ on a crutch. o_o I apologize. I thought this was just good old fashioned mental constructs. We're looking at possession territory here.

    Okay. You're getting stronger. That's the important part. Just keep hammering away at the thing. Make sure you've got people there to protect you as you hammer away, you cannot give this thing ANY wiggle room. You've survived and overcome the first twenty-four hours...just hammer and hammer until it breaks. It will suck. It could take a week, maybe more. Whatever you do, DON'T stop. Good luck.

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  11. As much as I'd like to think that this was Jung's Shadow Self theory, it seems much more terrible than that.

    I don't think it's just any normal possession. Otherwise Ava wouldn't be having those thoughts and feelings herself. I'm starting to think that whoever this Ardelia Lortz is, she's not only trying to take over Ava's body, but perhaps completely replace her memories and thoughts with her own. It's just a theory, but it seems relevant. And I hope that it doesn't turn out to be true and this is just some normal possession taking place. Those are much easier to deal with than a complete takeover.

    Ava, I'm sorry that this is happening, it's a terrible thing to go through. Keep holding on, dear and continue to hold on to those GOOD memories and GOOD thoughts that you KNOW are yours. Do NOT drink alcohol. It will only allow cracks to appear in your mind to let this new personality to seep through. You cannot allow that to happen! Keep fighting! I know you can do it! :]

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  12. Curse the English Language. Possession is the right word, but it's usual meaning doesn't seem to fit here. Yes, it appears Ava's possessed (sorry, Ava, not trying to exclude you here), but it's more like something is residing in her, like a parasite.

    You know, I think I just made it more creepy than it was before I opened my big, fat mouth.

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  13. I was out for a jog and my mobile was out of range, I only just got back.

    This whole thing is scary for me, but if it's what you need to do, then I support you. Just, please, don't hurt yourself.

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  14. My one and only question: How is Redlight capable of this?! Screwing with memories is one thing, implanting false emotions is one thing. But this?! A paracite/posession implies the involvement of a completely separate entity. Not even Red can create an entirely new person out of nothing (at least, i HOPE he can't). So where did he get this person named Ardelia Lotz?

    @Reach, do you recognize the name at all? Even as something in passing? A relative of someone you once hurt? Anything?


    Ava, with regards to your twitter post, Spender is out of contact and will be for a few weeks. Anything not coming from his blog is NOT coming from him and is to be burned or deleted immediately, unopened. Just fyi.

    And regardless of WHAT Ardelia is, Ava, just do whatever you have to. Shut her up. Take her out. Get back to your life with the man you love.

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  15. This sort of thing CAN be done to someone by entities of serious power. Ardelia Lotz is the name of a character from a Stephen King novel, specifically a body-jumping entity with a fondness for defiling people, for those who missed it.

    What we have here is a good old fashioned lesser possession. Greater is when you're dealing with "The Exorcist" type shenanigans. Lesser is when the possessing entity does not have complete control, but CAN influence the thoughts and actions of its targets.

    Good exorcists end up being more like psychologists. Simply kicking the possessing entity out of someone's body leaves them weak and unable to defend against being possessed again by something similar. You need to build up the strength of the victim, and help them push the possessing entity out. If the victim doesn't do it, it's a Pyrrhic victory.

    Ava has proven she can handle this turkey by lasting this long, AND actively beating it down. That's just impressive as hell! Now she's just got to keep hammering away. And she's got plenty of friends and family backing her and protecting her.

    Show them how it's done, eh? What you're doing here is seriously badass. Show the possessing twat what you're made of! :D Just keep at it!

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  16. >.< Yeah, I missed that reference. I'm not a Stephen King fan. I saw Stand By Me, that's the extend of my knowledge on his works.

    And yes, that was a joke.

    Eitehr way, my question remains, only now this is a fictional character we're dealing with, which increases the WTF quotient. Maybe Red has this kind of power, but I hope not. The thought is rather... intimidating.

    Regardless, kick her ass, Ava. If anyone can do it, it's you.

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  17. ... would she even really have an ass to kick?

    Good luck regardless.

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