For my lack of posting.
I've been so lethargic lately, it hardly seems feasible for me to get out of bed sometimes.
I feel a little better today, I haven't bolted to the bathroom to throw up yet anyway.
No, Red didn't feed me anything or inject me with anything at all. I don't...I don't exactly know what he did to me. I remember that he took me, I remember most things, I hope. I think it was just the place he took me that was perfectly fine. There's the Path Of Black Leaves and then, I guess, there's The Other Side, which seems far more averagely pressurised....He still did something though...I'm not sure what...
I don't know anymore. I don't trust my mind. I mean, I'm not losing time, I don't have gaps in my memory, I know I'm not a Redlight...
But there's this underlying, constant feeling that there's someone else in me. Always. Watching. Through my eyes. And I'm seeing Him out of the corner of my eyes, even though I know that Thage's place is "safe."
And Ray is a topic of much confusion for me.
I love him. But Red hates him. And Red is very...persuasive. I've got cuts I can't remember getting...
I feel sick when I look at Ray. There's this horrible churning feeling of pure hatred and complete devotion constantly vying for control. It's like there's a parasite in my mind, telling me what I should be thinking even when I know I'm not going to think it.
And so much happened while I was gone? Jeff? Can some please explain what the hell has happened to everyone while I was...there?
I've started microblogging too, therapy in a manner. It shuts the second voice up if I write down my answers and contradictions.
I'm still SO TIRED. Urgh god.
EDIT: Cheska! you're alive! How wonderful to see you, but how terrible you're alone.
Tensor...I don't trust you. And I shan't trust you. Ever. Your 'story' is far too...just no. I don't believe you. And after Will. Just no.