Twitter Updates 2.2: FeedWitter

Sunday, 23 January 2011

Update.

First off, I'd like to make two points.

We lost someone amazing yesterday (to me, to you, judging on timezones it's still yesterday) Fizzbomb.

But, she went out fighting, like the strong-willed bitch she really was. I bet she beat more than one Proxy/Hallowed/Agent to death and Slendy himself should have had the shits put up him.

Secondly, please, I'm actually begging you, DO NOT TRY THE ELECTROGATE FOR YOURSELF.

There are a few reasons for this, first off, Mum and I are the only ones with the true knowledge of what happened and how. Secondly, as Thage said, he could become immune. That's why we're refraining from testing the same thing again so closely together. I'd only, only, only recommend it if you're in those last stages. If you're SURE that he's going to kill you next time, not just stalk you.

And now onto: Ava's Adventures In Science!!

By which I mean I made cake today.


Urgh.

SO.

Remember my frantic post on Scott’s blog? The one in ALL CAPS? I thought I had Slendy at the window?

Yeeaaahhh…

Not him. A Proxy/Hallowed/Agent wearing a Phantom Of The Opera mask and suit. I just call him Tuxedo Mask because like hell I’m likening him to the brilliant Erik.

So he’s just been hanging around our front lawn and since our street is quiet, no-one really saw him.

Okay, maybe the fact he was in a tree helped camouflage him from the postman.

And then I got the munchies and Mum wondered what happened to all our scones so I said I'd bake something.

Coffee Cake, of course. But Tuxedo Mask decided that he'd stand at the very back of our garden and glare at me through the kitchen window so I just tied my hair up and started making said cake because it would have been pointless for me to close the curtains on a human rather than an Eldritch Abomination.

And once I'd finished the cake it was beginning to rain and he was still at the back of the garden and I'm still slightly stoned from the painkillers and I've got faith in the whole Power Of Kindness so I sliced the cake and got a disposable plate from our picnic set...

And got Balthazar just in case.

Opened the backdoor and he starts running at me, so I just let go of Balthazar's leash and he goes for Tuxedo Mask's throat and I've got a grip on my can of (illegal over here) mace.

So he starts screaming that he's going to either kill us or take us to him or something and Balthazar basically steals his mask and starts galloping about the garden with it, like it's his frisbee. Of course, I'm trying not to laugh or freak out because Tuxedo Mask's face is scarred and I realise why (A) he's at our house and (B) why he's dressed like that.

Because he's the guy that Mum smashed the oil lamp into.

And I start laughing hysterically and Balthazar starts chewing the plastic mask and he's pissed as hell so he goes for me again and I have to stab him in the leg with the knife I used to cut the cake.

And then I just give the guy the cake and call Bathazar back home, con mask as I leave Tuxedo Sin-Mask on our lawn with his leg bleeding and with some steadily-getting-wet cake.

I'm just sitting here, in the kitchen, eating a sandwich and staring out of the window infront of me as he glares at me still. He ate the cake about an hour after I gave it to him.

And yeahyeahyeah, "Why'd you give him cake, Ava, ya dumb broad? He's trying to kill you!"

Well, I'm still human, OC had to kill a Proxy/Agent/Hallowed the other day and he's pretty torn up about it. I suppose it's more about the fact that I can take attacking/killing/torturing that BASTARD thing, but this guy's a human and he doesn't know what he's doing, not really. For all I know, he's doing this to save one of his own family.

When did I get so empathic and sympathetic?

Oh! He's just run off down the alleyway next to our house.

I really suppose I should have told him it was full of laxatives.

There's some kind of dog painkiller in there too...I think there was some flea medicine in there too.

Oh, wait, nope, I'm still a bitch.

~Ava

10 comments:

  1. You're not a bitch. You're just making sure he isn't dumb enough to come back again.

    Admittedly, I really hope he had some of your cake.

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  2. He had the whoooole slice.

    I wish something like that would work on Slendy...

    HA! Maybe I should--

    Hmm, I've just had an idea.

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  3. xD Oooooh I hope he enjoys it.

    Oh boy. Cake theory?

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  4. No...something...a contingency plan. In the event of near death.

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  5. Okay, I laughed like an idiot, but NO.

    If you're thinking of giving Him laxative cake, I WILL KILL YOU.

    Remember, whenever He isn't stalking you or others, He's here. AND SO HELP ME GOD I WILL NOT CLEAN MAGICAL ABOMINATION SHIT UP.

    -Lya

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  6. FFFFF He'd just rip my other earring out...

    I'm glad you found it funny. I really don't think that the Proxy/Hallowed/Agent is coming back.

    I knew he'd eat the cake, he'd been standing non-stop outside for about two days XD

    GET HIM A KITTY LITTER BOX.

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  7. Well that's one way to handle a minion, I guess. Normally I just break some bones and leave them there for the others to find, so I don't think they'll be taking any cake I offer them any time soon. Fuck, and that sounds like it'd be hilarious to see.

    Who's Fizzbomb? I'm guessing she's another one of the survivors who made a blog and met an unfortunate end? Guess that's what you meant by people dropping left and right.

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  8. WHELP, he hasn't been baa~~ck...

    Psh, you act like I have the physical strength to break someone's bones, the most I can manage breaking is a nose.

    She was, she thought was one hell of a tough bitch though, beat the shit out of some Proxies/Agents/Hallowed while trapped in Slendy's castle.

    Yep. We still haven't found Stephanie from Scared, and Vexil, a friend of Darby's has just vanished into thin air...

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  9. Ava, Vexil showed up again. She's safe. I talk to Darby over an IM, so, yeah.

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  10. That's a good sign and a bad sign. Chances are he's gearing up to come back twice as angry and with help, so be on the lookout.

    Course' you can break a bone. All you gotta do is keep twisting a limb until it pops, then you keep pulling until it breaks, hehe. Or, y'know, use a blunt object.

    Damn, I dunno any of these people but that's never a good sign. It seems to be getting stronger if it's taking out fighters.

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