Dog Variable saved my life though.
At the end of my road there is a Catholic Church which my brief foray into State Education told me that it was built in the 1800’s as part of our ‘Local History’ class.
Yeah, he doesn’t care. He was just standing there, behind a Pew when I walked in. Well, I have to say, I really did freeze and start whimpering. Even if he was about 6 meters away from me, the only reason I didn’t have some kind of fatal cardiac arrest when he moved forwards was because Balthazar started barking and growling like he had rabies. He doesn’t like dogs it seems, he didn’t exactly run away (which was my desired outcome) but he did stop walking towards me, long enough for me to snap out of it and run like a mad person back home with Balthazar taking the lead (no pun intended.)
But, sitting here, in my study, with my coffee (I threw up again, coffee’s getting rid of the taste) and time to reflect, I’ve reached another Theory.
I was born and raised a Jew, maybe Church Theory didn’t work for me because I have no attachment to Catholicism? Of course, I consider myself a Transhumanist/Atheist more than a Jew, but I still have deep-seated roots in that religion, so who knows? My nearest Synagogue is only a little way past the Church, so I’ll pluck up the courage to do that at some point over the weekend.
I’d ask you, reading this, that you try it out for your own religions.
Church Theory Redux?
…New thought, maybe Library Theory works for me because of my consideration that I am more Atheist/Transhumanist than Jew? Libraries are the Churches of the Godless, you know.
Over-Analysis. Another thing that a Scientist prides. Dad was a Scientist, he taught me all the vocab and procedures, how to perform a fair test ectectect.
Since this is technically a journal, allow me a paragraph of self-pitying angst please. If that isn’t your thing, skip to my conclusions.
Dad and Mum are dead, they died when I was twelve/thirteen due to Cancer. I miss them dearly. Dad went last. Dad was a Scientist (Psychobiologist), Mum was a Personal Assistant to the CEO of Weightwatchers. Mum had Breast Cancer, Dad had a Brain Tumour. Fuck, he hated it. He started losing his memory and control over his body and he loathed it, his brain was literally everything to him. You know, apart from Mum and I. Cancer is hereditary in my biological and foster family, so I’ll probably get it at some point in the far future. Hence my easy coming-to-terms-with-possible-death. Of course, that doesn’t stop me from the nervous nausea every time I see something that by no means should exist. Statistically speaking however, nothing is impossible because probabilities are measured in numbers and numbers are infinite, so nothing is impossible. Just highly, highly improbable.
OKAY, SELF-PITYING OVER.
- Church Theory didn’t work for me. The Dog Variable saved my life by stalling him.
- I have a heap of new Theories, Theories that sprang from another Theory of: Maybe Church Theory didn’t work for me because I’m not a Catholic? Maybe Synagogue Theory will work for me? Church Theory. Synagogue Theory - To Be Tested Tomorrow. Mosque Theory - Are any of you Muslim? Are you able to get to a Mosque? Church Theory Redux - Are any of you Catholic/Christian/ectectect? Are you able to get to a Church? Library Theory Redux - Are any of you staunch Atheists? Can you get to a Library?
- Self-Pitying Angst about my biological parents.
- I’m going to talk to Mum in an hour or so.
I’ll check back soon.